


Holding onto the Past

by apple9131999



Series: The States of America [20]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: 9/11 mention, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Break Up, F/M, Love, Modern Era, Non-Explicit Sex, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-19
Updated: 2016-05-19
Packaged: 2018-06-07 17:20:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,629
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6816466
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/apple9131999/pseuds/apple9131999
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You don't love him, and that's a fact."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Holding onto the Past

**Author's Note:**

> This is based off of 'The Fool" By Lee Ann Womack

August 11, 2003- Denver, Colorado

* * *

“May I sit here?”

Colorado blinked up at the woman standing across from the small cafe’s table. She had deep-set gray eyes, like coins glinting in the late summer sun. Her hair, cream-colored and just this side of curly, was tied back behind her head like a comet tail. Her upturned nose twitched in a sniff as she waited for Colorado to respond.

Colorado nodded, and dog-eared her book as the woman held out a hand.

“Shanon Pryor.”

Colorado took her hand. “Lauren Jones.”

Shanon’s eyes brightened. “Oh, good, I was worried I got the wrong person.”

“What do you mean?” she asked with no small amount of suspicion.

Shanon took a deep breath, steeling herself it seemed. “Do you remember Lucas Sommer?”

* * *

February 13, 2000- Fredericksburg, Texas

_She promised Oklahoma she’d watch Sadie while Texas was out of the country with D.C. and a few others on a trip up to one of their military bases. Oklahoma had originally been asked by Texas to watch the Texan’s beloved blue lacy, but she had to cancel at the last minute because of reasons that Colorado didn’t feel the need to press her for. Besides, she loved Sadie._

_However, Sadie was rather excitable, much like her owner, and had the strength to almost pull Colorado off of her feet as she ran with the dog through one of the parks near Texas’ house._

_She clucked her tongue once when she ran out of breath and spied a bench off to the side of the walkway. Sadie danced around her ankles as Colorado puffed and huffed as she stumbled for the bench. Saide pushed her way in between her knees, licking at her nose and jumping up on her knees until a gentle nudge returned all four of Sadie’s feet to the ground._

_“It is so humid,” she said, laughing as she rubbed Sadie’s ears. The dog didn’t respond, but she did bark twice, before sitting on her rump, staring up at Colorado, tongue lolling out of the side of her mouth. Colorado laughed and leaned her head back, sweat beading up on her neck. She pulled her hair off of her neck and grimaced at the feeling._

_“Um, excuse me, may I pet your dog, Miss?”_

_She blinked and jerked up to stare at the man standing above of her. He had tanned skin, closer to Wyoming's than California’s. His hair curled away from his head, like the curled rays of the sun in a child’s drawing. His eyes were wide and a deep, stagnant green. He had a small gap between his teeth as he smiled crookedly down at her._

_A flush rose up her neck and her cheeks. She was covered in sweat and he was just staring at her and she hadn’t put on any makeup because she had thought the only one seeing her would be Sadie, but evidently she was wrong._

_Speaking of Sadie, the little bugger was preening as she craned her neck to look at the stranger, her tail never faltering in its wagging._

_“You from Colorado?” he asked after a long moment of awkwardness._

_She frowned and then looked down at her shirt, blinking at the faded CU shirt she had thrown on. Honestly, it wasn’t all that clear and you would have to look for the pattern or just be familiar with the logo._

_“Um yeah,” she said as she wiped her sweaty hands on her shirt and stood, dislodging Sadie. “Oh, you can pet her sure, um yeah.”_

_The man- horribly gorgeous, nice, and possibly Coloradoan man- laughed and squatted down to rub at Sadie’s collar._

_“You like dogs?” she asked as she watched them. He was wearing a very nice pair of jeans and a flannel shirt._

_He nodded, seemingly entranced in Sadie. “Yeah, ‘ve got two myself back at home.”_

_“Where’s that?” she asked, a small quirk in her eyebrow. He glanced up at her and smiled dazzlingly and her heart skipped a few beats._

_“Denver, home sweet home,” he said with a bright grin._

_Dear lord, she could marry this man._

_“Lucas Sommer,” he offered, holding out a hand once he’d had his fill of petting Sadie._

_She took the proffered hand and smiled. “Lauren Jones.”_

_He smiled at her and nodded, moving to walk past her, but she stopped him with a hand on his arm. “Can I have your number?” she asked, her stomach tight from nerves._

_Lucas only grinned in response before pulling out his phone. “Of course.”_

* * *

“...yes…”

Shanon licked her lips and brushed an invisible strand of hair behind her ear. “He’s still in love you. And I’m in love with him.”

* * *

December 12, 2000- Denver, Colorado

_She stumbled off of the plane, her eyes tired and bleary as she took her bags from the flight attendant. Said flight attendant also passed her a cup of coffee- Colorado could have kissed her. Bill nodded to her before joining his wife at the baggage claim._

_She was half-awake as she slouched to the lobby and therefore didn’t hear her name being shouted over the din of the people milling about. Granted, it was her human name- something they didn’t use at all a their summit meetings- so she couldn’t really be blamed for not listening for it until Lucas grabbed her arm._

_She turned and stared up at him and then smiled. “What are you doing here?” she asked before kissing him._

_Lucas laughed and took the bag that was almost falling out of her slack grip. “You asked me to pick you up, remember?”_

_She hummed and pressed her body close to him, nose tucking into the side of his throat._

_Lucas laughed and rubbed a hand on her back. “Tired?”_

_“Yeah,” she huffed, not noticing that she was being lead out of the building and to Lucas’ old beat-up Contour. “It was a long week,” she admitted._

_Lucas huffed a laugh as he climbed in the driver’s seat. “You seem tense, want a massage?”_

_“I’ll fall asleep,” she said as she blinked lethargically from the passenger seat._

_Lucas reached over and ran a calloused hand down her face and she sighed and leaned into the touch. “I don’t mind,” he said softly. “In fact, that would be best. You look exhausted, honey.”_

_She smiled, a happy warm feeling filling her chest as she watched through half-opened eyes as Lucas drove her back to his place. “Okay,” she said in the softest voice as he parked._

* * *

“If you’ve got a minute,” Shanon was saying as the blood pounded in Colorado’s ears, “I’ll buy you a drink.” Or ten, she might need a little more than just one if she knew where this conversation was going. “I’ve got something to say.”

“Of course,” she said tightly, her chest burning and her eyes aching in the familiar way.

“It might sound crazy,” Shanon said, looking at her lap after she ordered both of them a coffee. That was not what Colorado had in mind for a drink right now. “But last night in his sleep, I heard him call out your name.”

* * *

July 3, 2001- Denver, Colorado

_She could hear her phone go off from where her pants had been shucked not even moments later. She must have made a rather amusing face because Lucas had to retract his hands from the clasp of her bra to cover his mouth as he snorted inelegantly. She sat back in his lap from where she had been supporting herself over him._

_She tossed her head back- knowingly showing off her neck, effectively making Lucas quit laughing in a choked off noise. If she looks and finds out later that it was Bill calling her, she’s going to have to have another conversation with him about the week of the Fourth and calling her for things that are Not-Emergencies and since she didn’t feel any worse than she had been for the past few months, this was definitely a Not-Emergency._

_Her phone turned off, and she grinned down at Lucas before lowering herself over his body and kissing him. His hands had just returned to her bra clasp when her phone went off again and she groaned._

_“You might want to answer that, honey,” he said, running a hand through her hair and kissing her forehead, but not quite managing to keep the amusement out of his tone._

_She groaned at him, but slumped off of him and dug around for her phone. She barely paused to read the caller ID before flipping the phone open._

_“Hello?” she asked, closing her eyes so she didn’t see Lucas’ grin or the way he was spread out on her bed, shirtless, pantless, and a slight flush on his dark skin._

_“Cal?”_

_She sighed heavily and said, in the perkiest tone she could, “Maya? This is Lauren?”_

_There was silence from the other end and a soft curse. “Oh crap, sorry, Lauren. I’m trying to get Alexa.”- Lauren had assumed, Colorado and California were right next to each other after all- “I need her to confirm my connecting flight. The stupid airport won’t even accept my fake birth certificate.”_

_“Why don’t you just call Al? He can get to you faster than Alexa?”_

_There was a long silence. “Because he pisses me off on a good day and it’s like two in the morning where he is.”_

_“And it’s midnight here,” she pointed out._

_“You’re still in Colorado?”_

_Even if she was at South Dakota’s already, it’d still be midnight, but that’s what Hawai’i knew about mainland timezones. “Yeah, I’m not leaving until late morning.”_

_“Oh, I thought Bailey and Connor said they’d be staying the night with Addison.”_

_“Well I don’t always travel with Connor and Bailey. I do in fact own a car with which I can get myself to Addison’s place in time for the party tomorrow night. Like your flight would be coming in any earlier.”_

_“It was supposed to, I was supposed to leave the Islands tonight, but they canceled my flight because of bad weather. And since I’m not eighteen, they won’t let me on a connecting flight, and-”_

_Lauren was ready to cut off the conversation right there, but Hawai’i insistently carried on complaining about how Alfred wouldn’t let her change her fake age to anything higher than 15. She sighed. Her family certainly knew how to gab, and granted she was a major contributor, but this was ridiculous._

_“Wait, you’re driving to South Dakota tomorrow?”_

_Lauren rolled her eyes skyward. “Yes I am, and I’d like to reiterate, Maya, it’s midnight-”_

_“But isn’t that like ten hours away?”_

_“It’s only eight-”_

_“When are you leaving?”_

_“I was going to leave at nine, but Maya, it is midnight here and I’d really like to sleep right now.”_

_“Oh...sorry, I’m going to call Alexa.”_

_“You do that.” Ouch- she was going to have to make apology cookies for Maya when she showed up tomorrow. If she wasn’t already on a flight, she’d be rather late to the party. “Goodbye, Maya-bird.”_

_Hawai’i’s “Bye” was defeated and embarrassed and Lauren felt like the biggest ass, but she didn’t feel to bad when she turned back to Lucas._

_He was smirking, leaning back on his arms, his stomach muscles taut under his skin. She stared at him with wide eyes, drinking in the sight before grinning salaciously at him and crawling back over to him._

_“Where were we?” she asked as Lucas fell back to pull her over him._

_He laughed._

* * *

“It wasn't the first time; he’s done it before. And it’s hard to face the truth.”

* * *

September 9, 2001- Somewhere above Kansas

“I just don’t understand why you have to leave for weeks at a time,” _Lucas whined pitifully from the other end of the phone call._

_Lauren only rolled her eyes fondly. “Lucas, it’s my job. I’ll be home on Friday this time, and not even midnight this time.”_

__“But I miss you already.” __

_Lauren smiled broadly, incurring a raised eyebrow from Bill- who she had sworn to secrecy a few months ago when he had found her out. “I’ll call you when I land in D.C., ok?”_

_There was silence and then a whined,_ “Fine. Love you.” __

_“Love you too.”_

* * *

“I’m the _fool_ in love with the fool,” Shanon muttered into her mug, looking so hopeless, so distraught that Colorado’s heart went out to her in that moment, “who’s still in love with you.”

* * *

September 11, 2001- District of Columbia

_She called him after three missed calls and after California and New Jersey hashed it out. He babbled on the other side as she cried softly, promising him she was okay, that she was just so scared right now, she didn’t know when she was going to be able to get back home._

_“That’s okay, that’s okay, I-I don’t care- Lauren, honey, sweetie- oh God- I love you, stay safe, baby.”_

* * *

“I know love is a fragile thing,” she was saying as she dabbed at her eyes, barely looking up to Colorado. “And I’m trying hard to make it last.” She took a long deep breath in, looked at her folded hands, took another deep breath, and whispered, “It isn’t easy holding onto my dreams, when he’s holding on to the past.”

* * *

October 3, 2001- Denver, Colorado

_She had only meant to be a minute when she saw Connor calling. As an unspoken rule, none of them ignored any calls anymore. She felt bad, leaving Lucas at the table. What was supposed to take only five seconds- it was probably just to check-up on her- took her a long time._

_Connor had been babbling hysterically and it sounded as though Liam was screaming in the background. She had to sit down when she finally understood and she started crying, a hand pressed to her mouth, tears streaming out of her eyes as she pressed her phone to her ear. She sank down onto one of the benches in front of the cafe. The wind whipped at her hair._

_A shadow fell over her and she blinked up, waving a hand, “No, no, I’m alright- I just- Lucas?”_

_Lucas smiled down at her over the bouquet in his hands. “For you.”_

_Her lip trembled. “Con?- I’m gonna go, okay? Tell Savannah I hope she feels better?” When she hung up, she launched herself at her boyfriend, arms clasped around his neck, almost squishing the flowers._

* * *

“Just one more thing,” Shanon said when Colorado finished her drink and made it obvious she was trying to leave, “before you go.”

Colorado paused at the earnest tone. Shanon took this as a go-ahead to continue with what she was saying.

“I’m not here to put you down. You don’t love him, and that’s a fact-”

Colorado was facing away from her, and she could feel her face fall as her heart stuttered painfully in her chest. Tears welled in her eyes as her mouth tightened and her eyebrows drew together. She did, though, she loved him so much. She would have stayed with him forever- but she couldn’t! She couldn’t! She’d seen all of her siblings go through this and she knew, oh she knew, that it wasn’t right to tie Lucas down to an almost immortal teenager while he had such a long life to live. She loved him too much for that.

“But you hold his heart in the palm of your hand, and it's breaking mine in two.”

Colorado took a deep breath in and slung her purse onto her arm. “Thank you for the coffee. I am sorry, but I must go.”

A tear fell as she walked away, the woman's words echoing in her mind.


End file.
